I am so grateful for my husband and my sister Selina and for many friends who care. I am doing better everyday.
Last Monday I hit a low. Extreme anxiety lead to no sleep which led to depression which led to Zoloft which led to a bad reaction which led to even worse anxiety which led to deeper depression and I kind of wanted to die.
When I wrote my first post about PPD and weepy-ness I had no idea what lay ahead of me. I thought I was through the worst then I had 5 days of the lowest low of my life. I can honestly say I hope to never experience anything like that again... the wells of my compassion have deepened... I feel so empathetic for those who suffer from anxiety and depression regularly. I wanted to pray it away and for God to take my burden. What I didn't understand about what I was feeling is that it's like a broken arm and I could not expect it to magically heal on it's own...
I am so grateful for friends and family who have shown me so much love and intervened when I needed it (Brent, Kimberly, Syd, Selina...plus more). When you are in such a dark place it is hard to feel the spirit or comfort... but God didn't leave me comfortless (like I felt). He sent me angels so I would always know that he was there.
Brent really has been so amazing words cannot express. I am grateful for him everyday.
He even made the entire Thanksgiving feast last week. It was incredible....we're talking apple pie's from scratch and a moist delicious turkey. He totally enjoyed doing it too...
I am grateful for so much...
and right now I feel really grateful that I have survived this last month. On to December...
PS~Thanks mom for decorating my house. Christmas decor makes me happy.
5 comments:
I'm SO Sorry Soph! I should have called u!!! I am glad that hopefully the worst is over and I am always in awe at how u take a hard thing and learn and grow from it SO quickly-u are an inspiration no matter how weak u feel-remember that 'low' voice is satan and that u have so many people who love u! I will keep u in my prayers my dear, sweet sophina!!!!
Love you Sophie!!!!!! :) I'm glad you are finding your way back to happiness. I can't wait to see you in a few weeks!
i'm so sorry sophie. i have so been there, with both kids. it is unbelievably tough. i'm glad you've got lots of support. i think you're great for being brave and sharing your feelings. it's a scary thing to do, but your honesty will help others!
Oh sophia I love you. I love how you are not afraid to share who you are and what's going on in life. You are a strong woman, mom, friend, and wife. We are all lucky to have you in our lives. Love your guts!
Oh Sohia- I bet PPD is terrible! I guess realizing you have it is the best way to treat it. You have such a bubbly personality so I know it's only a matter of time before this passes :) (this is kim btw. Not my husband nick)
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